took the bus home,
carried both bags with two good arms back to my studio apartment
and cooked myself dinner.
You and I may have different definitions of a good day.
This week, I paid my rent and my credit card bill,
worked 60 hours between my two jobs,
only saw the sun on my cigarette breaks
and slept like a rock.
Flossed in the morning,
locked my door,
and remembered to buy eggs.
My mother is proud of me.
It is not the kind of pride she brags about at the golf course.
She doesn’t combat topics like, ”My daughter got into Yale”
with, ”Oh yeah, my daughter remembered to buy eggs”
But she is proud.
See, she remembers what came before this.
The weeks where I forgot how to use my muscles,
how I would stay as silent as a thick fog for weeks.
She thought each phone call from an unknown number was the notice of my suicide.
These were the bad days.
My life was a gift that I wanted to return.
My head was a house of leaking faucets and burnt-out lightbulbs.
Depression, is a good lover.
So attentive; has this innate way of making everything about you.
And it is easy to forget that your bedroom is not the world,
That the dark shadows your pain casts is not mood-lighting.
It is easier to stay in this abusive relationship than fix the problems it has created.
Today, I slept in until 10,
cleaned every dish I own,
fought with the bank,
took care of paperwork.
You and I might have different definitions of adulthood.
I don’t work for salary, I didn’t graduate from college,
but I don’t speak for others anymore,
and I don’t regret anything I can’t genuinely apologize for.
And my mother is proud of me.
I burned down a house of depression,
I painted over murals of greyscale,
and it was hard to rewrite my life into one I wanted to live
But today, I want to live.
I didn’t salivate over sharp knives,
or envy the boy who tossed himself off the Brooklyn bridge.
I just cleaned my bathroom,
did the laundry,
called my brother.
Told him, “it was a good day.”"
if u are scared or worried or stressed please just remember that even if you mess up super badly, doggies on the street will still tug on their owners when u walk by because they wanna say hello to u so badlyThis is legitimately comforting.
bold what applies to you
- i have blonde hair and green eyes
- i have red hair and hazel eyes
- i’m very tall
- my hair is really curly
- i have brown hair and blue or green eyes
- i have freckles
- i have black hair and brown eyes
- i have dimple/s
- i wear contact lenses
- i tan easily
- i have small eyelashes
- i paint my nails
Clothes / Accessory / Make-up:
- i hate wearing flip-flops
- i don’t have converse
- i wear foundation every day
- i have stretch marks / tattoos
- i love wearing head bands
- i hate wearing mascara
- i have at least one pair of vans
- i hate sweaters
- i love wearing high heels
- i own brown eyeliner
- i love skirts/dresses
- i own at least 3 pairs of jeans
- i often wear scarves
- i never wear necklaces
Family / Country:
- i’m the oldest child
- i have an older brother
- i’m from South America
- i know how to swear in more than two languages
- one (or more) of my parents is from another country
- i have a younger sister
- i have siblings that live in Asia
- i’m an orphan
- i have family that live in Australia
- i know two or more languages
School / Job:
- i’m in high school
- i love history
- i have/had a teacher that is great in explaining and actually teaching
- i got fired
- i know what i want to do in the future
- i don’t do an extracurricular activity
- i learn more than one language
- i love math
- i already have a job
- my grades are almost never excellent/very good
- i want to go to college
- i want to be professional athlete / writer / artist
- broken a bone
- ridden a motorcycle
- a best friend
- a favorite song
- sung in the shower
- punched / slapped somebody
- told somebody they are pretty
- my own room
- a star crush
- kissed a boy/ a girl
- online best friends
- spent whole night without sleeping
- girlfriend / boyfriend
I’m afraid of:
- insects/ snakes
- people disliking me
- somebody yelling at me
- somebody finding out a secret about me
- my favorite character dying
- stormy weather
- death (not my own death though)
- having to talk in front of people
- kissing somebody
- small rooms
- sleeping until 12pm
- fluffy blankets
- swimming/ diving
- watching movies
- channing tatum
- hot chocolate
- baking / cooking
- harry potter
- cold showers
- my hair
- my wardrobe
Element Eighty - Broken Promises
Anxiety: No you dont
I MEAN HOW IS THIS ADORABLE DORK
ALSO THIS CREEPY GUY
AND THIS MURDEROUS CREATURE
I MEAN HOW
IS THIS LIL SHIT
SUCH A BAMF
SUCH A CREEP
WHO ALSO NEEDS A HUG
WHY SHOULD YOU GIVE ME SO MUCH FEELS?